Morning

Morning is good. A lot of refreshment, like a new start.
Today I'm not working, because I had to pick up a friend of mine from the airport. The sky looked very pretty this morning, and the sun is producing more heat than usual. I had an empty mind this morning, and felt pretty weird, but somewhat good. I need to escape, need to chill out. I wanna rest a little, somewhere that's quiet, nobody knows me, somewhere I can just walk around and not to think about anything, just for a while. My schedule is like a 7-11, never needs to rest, driving around the city, sitting there and listening, I think I got out from "no life" and going into "too much life". There's nothing in between. Monday-Sunday, there's no such thing as a "day off" for me. TGIF doesn't mean anything to me, but I try to make my mind feel like TGIMTWThFSatSun. How long do I have to live like that. I don't know. Can't find any excitement besides the encounter and connection with Jesus, but how can I keep it up? Some times I just feel disconnected. It has been half year already, and I don't think I'm still a child who just can't get out of it because of my stubbornness? Or is my basic instinct, my nature, my designation of God? I don't care, but I just want to be who I am, sometimes I feel like is stupid to be myself because of all the broken glasses on the ground that I have to walk over. My self-righteousness is haunting me day by day, I feel like this "modern" world is way darker than before, things are filled with wraith, hatred, lust, selfishness and anger. Sometimes I just can't find someone worth. But I believe there is somebody out there who has the other half of the puzzle and just knows how to put the piece by piece together into a beautiful picture. My other half is too messy to be put together. I need the decoder. I still doubt.